"Do your research"

This is quickly becoming my most hated phrase. It's used for just about everything  controversial, but I'm focused on babies on this blog so I'll stick to that. You know what, it's HARD being a mom in today's world. We have so many options, so many opinions, and have access to SO much information - it's beyond overwhelming. It doesn't help when all of said information contradicts each other in the most convincing ways. I read a pro- vaccinating article and I'm convinced and terrified. I read an anti- vaccinating article and I'm convinced and terrified. I find oodles of research telling me to wait 6 months before starting solid food. Then I read an incredibly well cited article that debunks the whole "food before one is just for fun," and states that solids are actually a bit more important than we've given them credit for. I read both pro and con research on tummy sleeping and come out confused. Don't even get me started on cows milk. Being in the dairy industry, I am truly shocked at things people believe is true about cows milk that I know FOR A FACT is not true. (I feel myself getting off on a tangent here so I'll stop now. It's just a subject I'm extremely passionate about. I'll save it for another blog!) 

Anyway. When Sam was a newborn I read until my eyes bled about vaccines. I read until I was in tears. I felt I could not trust anyone, including (especially?) doctors, and had no idea what I should do. And you know what both sides kept demanding? Do your research. 

Who am I to believe? Either way I'm left believing I've just done, or not done, something that could potentially kill my child, or give them cancer, or autism, or a life threatening reaction/disease. Maybe it was easier to be a parent before all this information hit us. I can't imagine researching more or being any more "well informed" than I am, and I'm STILL confused and unsure. I guess it's good that we (everyone I talk to anyway) care enough to research. But sometimes I think its created a bunch of self righteous know it alls spouting off "facts" that they read online. I'm not saying you shouldn't research (remember I myself admitted to researching until my eyes bled!) but maybe we all need to remember who is really in charge here. We make what we think are the best decisions for our kids, but ultimately we aren't in control. We cannot guarantee our children perfect health, no matter how many organic fruits and veggies we give them. I have complete faith and trust in only ONE of my decisions as a parent. That is to trust in God as the ultimate physician, the only one who truly knows it all, the only one who I can know for a fact has no hidden agenda. I remember taking Sam in for his 2 month shots (yes, I decided to vax) and having a good long prayer about it on the way there. I experienced such a peace about it. I'm not saying its because I made the "right" choice. It's like Jesus just put his arm around me and said, "Relax. You aren't as powerful as you seem to think you are." 

Suddenly it's not all up to me. It's not all on my shoulders. Nothing can happen to my babies that my God is unaware of. I don't have to sit back and bite my nails that my research isn't as informed as my friends or neighbors. Because ultimately, I'm not that powerful. 

What a relief.