Brotherly love.

One of the things second time moms are most afraid of is how their older child will react to New Baby. I was no exception. I stayed up at night worrying about Sam feeling jealous or slighted in any way. I forced his squirming body close to me and snuggled and kissed him and held back tears at the thought of my baby being knocked off his "baby" perch before he was even two! How could I do this to him?! I tried to tell myself that giving him a baby brother to laugh and fight and play with was giving him the greatest gift I could. But I felt guilty. It didn't help that every single person I'd ever met in my life asked me if I was worried about Sam's reaction with a knowing, sympathetic nod. Like, oh you poor woman, you'll have to spend so much for his therapy after he's tossed to the side and neglected at 20 months old.

 I tried being perky and optimistic. I'd say, "Oh not really. I'm sure it will take some adjusting but I think it's going to be great!" Then I'd go home and cry. 

After New Baby finally came, it was pretty much the first question everyone asked. 

"So how's Sam doing with it?" 

"Is Sam ok?" 

"I bought Sam something, too, so he doesn't feel left out." 

I actually started feeling bad for Luke. It was almost like he got lost in the shuffle of everyone's hyper concern for Sam. When people came over to meet Luke, they'd end up leaving me by myself with a sleeping newborn while they laughed and played with Sam. I mean, I get that Sam can walk and talk and play while Luke just nurses, sleeps and poops, but he still deserved a little fawning himself, didn't he? 

Sam has truly been fantastic with Luke. I think he is too young to understand that he's not the "baby" anymore. The older they both get, the more he starts to love him rather than ignore him. The past few days I've moved Luke's bedtime up to 730 or so. Last night I put him down while Sam and Mike were still outside, and when they came in Sam was a bit distraught over his missing brother. 

"Wuke? Wuke? Wuke night night?"

It was pretty sweet. Luke has also started to take notice of Sam. Whenever his big brother is in his line of vision, he stares in fascination. 

This morning, Sam was eating breakfast when I got Luke up for the day. 

His eyes lit up when he saw him. "Hi Wuke! Hi!!" 

Then he spent the whole morning down on the ground by him, just hanging out. 

 Watching them this morning truly made my heart melt. I am so excited to watch them actually play and interact as Luke gets older. 

Im sure 6 months from now when they're both crying and fighting over the last cheerio I'll need to be reminded of a simpler time, hence this post.  

Tomorrow might bring harder days, but today is pretty sweet.